My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
