Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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