It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They have beer where we have blood.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
