Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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