around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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