Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
