If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
