the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
