the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
