Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
