you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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