If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
