I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
