New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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