this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
