it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
