when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
