break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
