but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
