I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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