We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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