Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
