Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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