32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
