sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
