i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
