So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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