just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
