i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
