You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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