I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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