Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
