We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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