Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
