so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
