Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
