Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You ruined the universe
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
