im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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