I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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