You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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