Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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