If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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