hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
