Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
being pregnant is like rehab
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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