we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
