I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
