WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So vagazzling was a success
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
