PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
