Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
