The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
