Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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