Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
