I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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