i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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