Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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