Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
