i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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