Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what day is it and did you see me today?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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